LisaSkirts.com® BDS&M Credo
Sigmund Freud "theories of sadomasochism"

The lifestyle that we have chosen is often viewed from outside as a violent, crazed and destructive way of life, in which one person, the Master, destructively uses the submissive subject.

This view is hard to demonstrate as wrong if we, the BDS&Mers, don't understand ourselves what the limits of the lifestyle are, and why.

Over time, the BDS&M community has agreed, in a not-so-informal way, to a three-word creed: Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

These 3 words, and the principles they represent, are what separate BDS&M from self-destructive, and are what keep us, the BDS&M community, within a humane and reasonable relationship in which both partners grow.

The problem is that even among the BDS&M community it is hard to come up with a generic and fully valid definition of this credo, due to the multiple viewpoints that make our lifestyle.

If we look at the praxis of the lifestylers, we can probably see what the true meaning of the credo is, at least in a broad form.

Safe :: This is probably the easiest of the three words to define, at least in terms of our lifestyle, and yet so hard to comprehend. The dictionary defines safe as, among other things: Secure from danger, harm or evil. This, to me, is the part of the definition of Safe, which concerns our lifestyle.

But ..we see in our lifestyle, that danger is often present ..so, in reality ..since so many potential dangers are present in what we do ..why do we talk about being Safe?

Safety in the BDS&M lifestyle is not the theoretical safety of keeping a submissive subject in a glass box (although the idea has great potential;) away from the world, but the safety of being there for the submissive subject at all times (not only during scenes), ready to help and support them in an
authoritative and mentoring role.

Hurt is our fun, so, in a sense ..Safety is the careful planning of every scene, the proper execution of every instrument ..to ensure, that the submissive subject will all harm. To keep a submissive subject safe, we must help them grow ..and, to keep them safe, we must encourage them to learn ..while making provisions to remove inherited bad habits. This is the safety that our lifestyle should provide, this is the safety that we must always offer to our submissive subjects.

Sane :: We can define sane as mentally healthy, reasonable, showing sound judgement. This definition fits what our lifestyle believes sane should be ..even if some shrinks think that BDS&M practice, is a mental sickness.

Being sane in the BDS&M context means planning ahead, taking into account the mental and physical health of those involved, making sure that that health is not endangered in any way. A sane Master will never play with the fears of their submissive subject, additionally ..a Master will never try to break their subject. Pushing limits is fun ..breaking somebody is insane and not a part of our lifestyle.

Sanity also refers to the physical well-being of those involved ..a sane Master will never endanger the well-being of a submissive subjects health ..in any way.

Showing sound judgment is the basis of BDS&M, and not only on the Master's part; a sub that agrees to be bound by a stranger isn't being sane (nor safe) ..sane means to always think.

Consentual :: Consent is defined as giving assent to the proposal of another, to agree. This is the first step in a BDS&M relationship, be it a permanent/formal one or a temporary/for play only one. Without consent, it's not BDS&M, it's abuse,
and should be treated as such.

There are scenes which walk the line of consent. Many scenes are hard to catalog on one side or the other of the consent line, and because of that, they should be thoroughly discussed before even consideration of active participation.